living in now

Not letting the past run your future

An Open Letter

July 24, 2010 | 3 comments

Dear Friends,

As I sit here writing this heart felt message to my friends I’ve met and those I haven’t, I’m a little sad.

I’m thinking about all of you that I know who have shared how unhappy you are with their lives; how frustrated and angry you are that you’ve put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own for so many years. You are smart, passionate, powerful women with a lot still to offer from formal education and life experience who are such treasures to those who know and love you.

And yet, you’re suffering, you’re feeling lost. I know how that feels.

I came from an unintentionally privileged background. I was born and raised in Guam. At the time my family lived there, there were no grocery stores or department stores where you could buy what you needed, much less what you wanted. So, instead, we traveled. And, so did most of the other people we associated with. I was privileged to visit places like Australia, the Philippines, Jakarta and the rest of the Pacific Islands by the time I was 9. I was sent off-island to boarding schools from the time I was 13. My parents bought land so that I  would be taken care of in my “golden” years.

So I went through ivy league schools, lived a certain lifestyle and had the expectation that I would have that lifestyle as I got older.

Then one day, in the space of a breath, all that was gone. And I don’t mean harder to get to because of a problem with the stock market or something, I mean gone, kaput, never to be regained. My mother died and for some reason kn own only to herself and God, disinherited me. Suddenly, the life I was expecting to live was no longer available to me. Not only that, but I was homeless, with only the clothes on my back, tossed out to live for three weeks in a park waiting for a shelter bed and hiding from the police at night trying to avoid the sprinklers.

It was during this time I recognized that for the first time in my life, I was free; truly free. I was no one’s daughter, no one’s mother, no one’s employee; I was a blank slate. Without my roles to define me, who the hell was I? Good question.

It was also during this time that I came up with the concept of Oughta-Pilots. I’d given up all control over my daily life to someone else and it hadn’t worked out very well, to say the least.

From that point to today, I have been building, creating, carving and hacking out a life of my own making where I am the only one responsible, no matter what happens. I am conscious. I disconnected my external Oughta-Pilots and stepped up and out. I admit, I still have some internal OP’s that I’m dealing with, but it’s getting easier with the help of mentors, friends and loved ones. who know what my dream is.

What I want to tell you is this, plain and simple: you are in control of your life. You are the only one who can determine what happens next for you. If you’re feeling bewildered, I understand, it’s a big life and for those of you, like me, who have something big inside you to do, it’s just plain scary. But we can tackle it together. You are not living in a vacuum. As a new mentor of mine, David Neagle, says, you have to do it by yourself, but you can’t do it alone.

Let me share the journey with you and be there to steady you if you’re uncertain. I’ve said for years that living a created life isn’t easy, but when you have someone on your side and in your corner, it’s a whole lot easier!

As always, with love,

DeBorah

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Willingness, Surrender and Commitment; Oh Joy!

March 22, 2010 | No comments

Yesterday, I heard a wonderful speaker who was a special guest at my church’s dedication ceremony. His name was Rev. Gregory Toole.  His history is remarkable but only so far as how fast he grew in the career that lights him up and gives him joy.

Gregory Toole worked in the computer industry beginning in 1983, starting as a software developer, eventually earning an MBA from the MIT Sloan School of Management, and then working in the same industry in marketing and business development.

One day while still in the midst of this successful 12-year career, and shortly after completing the Science of Mind Foundational class at East Bay Church of Religious Science in Oakland, CA, Gregory felt a strong pull to be of greater service to humanity in some way. At the time it was not clear how this was to be, but it was very clear that his corporate career was complete and that he was to embark on something new.

He left that career in 1995 to discover what this new calling would be. Shortly thereafter he discovered a love of working with youth. He became the first Executive Director of a new non-profit organization called National Youth Enterprise Institute, doing youth development in Oakland, California. He found much success and fulfillment in this work.

Currently he is the Ecclesiastical Leader for United Centers for Spiritual Living where he oversees and leads the activities and programs serving its many centers, churches, practitioners, and ministers. In this role he is responsible for all of the Ecclesiastical departments, including Education; Holmes Institute; Growth, Expansion, and Ministerial Support (GEMS); International Youth and Family Ministries; World Ministry of Prayer; and several volunteer core groups.

What he spoke about was willingness and about surrender in a way I had not heard it before. I’ve been a “new thought” thinker for many years, and the concept of being willing to do whatever it takes to achieve a goal is not new to that venue, by any means. Ask any committed parent. But what Rev. Toole talked about that made such an impression on me was that it’s the surrender and being willing to so what it takes, whether you actually need to or not, that makes all things possible.

Getting out of your own way

Now, I’m not going to get into a religious or spiritual debate. I personally believe that there is a Power in the Universe bigger than I am that I can tap into when I need to. Whatever your beliefs are, you are welcome to them and I will defend your right to believe that way just as passionately as I hold my own. There are many paths and spirituality is a deeply personal journey.

We are in charge of our own experiences

We live our lives in choice. We were given free will. We can choose power, passion and possibility or just putting in time. Whether you follow your heart’s desire, or live on Oughta-Pilot™, you choose on some level to follow a path.

But what I have learned in my life experiences and through my studies, is that when I try to “make things happen” or control an outcome, it never goes the way I want it to. But when I surrender my need to be in control and am willing to do whatever there is to do to do, be and/or have what I have envisioned, it goes much better and often I am surprised and delighted that the outcome is way beyond what I had thought I wanted.

The last chunk in this is that you have to commit to the change you desire. We all have dreams and visions (there is a difference, I believe). If we could have everything we want, and there were no journeys towards something better, how boring would that be? It’s the process of dissatisfaction with what is that draws us forward to greater and greater aspirations for ourselves and others. I see the journey as a process:

1) We look at our lives and choose something different

2) We commit to that change,  and create a journey/path to achieve what we have chosen

3) We experience triumphs and challenges along the way that shape and mold us, allowing us to get in touch with what it means to each of us to be happy

It’s in the commitment to change and the triumphs and challenges we experience that we get to grow and to learn. In the challenges we see opportunities to be willing and surrender to that Force that is bigger than we are, knows more than we do and has our greatest good foremost. And we see what happens when we are not.

In the triumphs we see how it feels to be in the flow and tapped into Source. We experience the joy of achievement, of contribution, and of seeing our fondest wish realized.

What are your thoughts on this? What’s the process for you? I can’t wait to hear.

Gregory Toole worked in the computer industry beginning in 1983, starting as a software developer, eventually earning an MBA from the MIT Sloan School of Management, and then working in the same industry in marketing and business development.

One day while still in the midst of this successful 12-year career, and shortly after completing the Science of Mind Foundational class at East Bay Church of Religious Science in Oakland, CA, Gregory felt a strong pull to be of greater service to humanity in some way. At the time it was not clear how this was to be, but it was very clear that his corporate career was complete and that he was to embark on something new.

He left that career in 1995 to discover what this new calling would be. Shortly thereafter he discovered a love of working with youth. He became the first Executive Director of a new non-profit organization called National Youth Enterprise Institute, doing youth development in Oakland, California. He found much success and fulfillment in this work.

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Are You Running on Oughta-Pilot?

February 24, 2010 | No comments

Are you doing what you were born to do or what you have learned to do? It isn’t always easy to discern the difference. Are you following your heart or your Oughta-Pilot?

What is an Oughta-PilotTM?

The precise definition of Oughta-PilotTM is:

Letting an “ought to” or a “should” be the primary motivation for how you live your life, the choices and decisions you make and the attitudes and feelings that arise therefrom.

Oughta-Pilots can be yours or someone else’s, but they’re stringy and sticky and really hard to get rid of – sort of like the cockroaches in my first apartment.

I spent the first 45 years of my life doing everything others said or thought I “oughta” do. I made myself miserable trying to do and be what my parents, teachers, spouses and so-called friends said I “should”.  It got me nowhere fast. I was suffering because I couldn’t be true to my own Truth.

Then, one day, I woke up and claimed my own BirthRight. Now I live a conscious, created life and take full responsibility for my actions.  And so can you. The time comes when your Truth, your dreams and your desires will no longer be denied or suppressed and you accept your destiny.

I’ve started teaching others how to disconnect their OP’s as well. There is a specific process I have developed and I’m tickled to say, can now share with others. I have folded the process into an all day workshop which I’m scheduling in cities across the country. Contact me to let me know if you’d like me to schedule a workshop in your city.

We’re all trying to do a little better for ourselves, right? Working for things like…

* More Money

* A Better Career

* A More Loving Relationship

* A Healthy Weight and Body Image

* And a “Better Lifestyle” Overall

I’ve got something which can help you do all of this and more. If you…

* need help to define exactly what you want

* need to have your questions answered

* need to learn practices necessary to live a created life

* need to learn specifically how to manifest the health, money, and relationships you yearn for

…then I can help you. :)

My exclusive “Disconnect Your Oughta-PilotTM” program is designed to bring you a new understanding of who you are, what you want and where to go next. You will be ready, willing and able to lead a life of power, passion and possibility.

This is not just for women, men have Oughta-Pilots, too!

I’ll be discussing the process more in future posts.

Are you doing what you were born to do or what you have learned to do? It isn’t always easy to discern the difference.
What is an Oughta-Pilot(tm)?

The precise definition of Oughta-Pilot(tm) is:

Letting an “ought to” or a “should”  be the primary motivation for how you live your life, the choices and decisions you make and the attitudes and feelings that arise therefrom.

Oughta-Pilots can be yours or someone else’s, but they’re stringy and sticky and really hard to get rid of – sort of like the cockroaches in my first apartment.

shame smallI spent the first 47 years of my life doing everything others said or thought I “oughta” do. I made myself miserable trying to do and be what my parents, teachers, spouses and so-called friends said I “should”.  Then, one day, I woke up and claimed my own BirthRight. Now I live a conscious, created life and take responsibility for my actions.

I’ve started teaching others how to disconnect their OP’s as well. There is a specific process I have developed and I’m tickled to say, have folded into a 6-week e-course as well as an all day workshop. The e-course will allow you to work through the process in privacy, but if you want to really turbocharge the experience and get going on a new course, the workshop is the way to go.

We’re all trying to do a little better for ourselves, right? Working for things like…

* More Money
* A Better Career
* A More Loving Relationship
* A Healthy Weight and Body Image
* And a “Better Lifestyle” Overall

I’ve got something which can help you do all of this and more. And over a 6-week period, I want to personally share these things with you. If you…

* need help to define exactly what you want
* need to have your questions answered
* need to learn practices necessary to live a created life
* need to learn specifically how to manifest the health, money, and relationships you yearn for

…then I can help you. :)

My exclusive, 6-week “Disconnect Your Oughta-PilotTM” course is designed to bring you a new understanding of who you are, what you want and where to go next.

The 6-week course includes teleseminars, interactive networking calls, guest speakers, and more. You’ll also be able to discuss everything and get your questions answered in an online forum.

Watch this space to find out when it’s ready to launch.  I’m looking for beta testers now.  If you’re interested in participating, please send me an email at contact (at) oughtapilotgone (dot) com.

Till next time,Are you doing what you were born to do or what you have learned to do? It isn’t always easy to discern the difference.

What is an Oughta-Pilot(tm)?

The precise definition of Oughta-Pilot(tm) is:

Letting an “ought to” or a “should” be the primary motivation for how you live your life, the choices and decisions you make and the attitudes and feelings that arise therefrom.

Oughta-Pilots can be yours or someone else’s, but they’re stringy and sticky and really hard to get rid of – sort of like the cockroaches in my first apartment.

shame smallI spent the first 47 years of my life doing everything others said or thought I “oughta” do. I made myself miserable trying to do and be what my parents, teachers, spouses and so-called friends said I “should”. Then, one day, I woke up and claimed my own BirthRight. Now I live a conscious, created life and take responsibility for my actions.

I’ve started teaching others how to disconnect their OP’s as well. There is a specific process I have developed and I’m tickled to say, have folded into a 6-week e-course as well as an all day workshop. The e-course will allow you to work through the process in privacy, but if you want to really turbocharge the experience and get going on a new course, the workshop is the way to go.

We’re all trying to do a little better for ourselves, right? Working for things like…

* More Money

* A Better Career

* A More Loving Relationship

* A Healthy Weight and Body Image

* And a “Better Lifestyle” Overall

I’ve got something which can help you do all of this and more. And over a 6-week period, I want to personally share these things with you. If you…

* need help to define exactly what you want

* need to have your questions answered

* need to learn practices necessary to live a created life

* need to learn specifically how to manifest the health, money, and relationships you yearn for

…then I can help you. :)

My exclusive, 6-week “Disconnect Your Oughta-PilotTM” course is designed to bring you a new understanding of who you are, what you want and where to go next.

The 6-week course includes teleseminars, interactive networking calls, guest speakers, and more. You’ll also be able to discuss everything and get your questions answered in an online forum.

Watch this space to find out when it’s ready to launch. I’m looking for beta testers now. If you’re interested in participating, please send me an email at contact (at) oughtapilotgone (dot) com.

Till next time,

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Gong Xi Fa Cai – Happy New Year

February 14, 2010 | 1 comment

Happy New Year!

February 14 is not only Valentine’s Day, a celebration of love and joy, but this year, it is also the date of Chinese New Year (or Spring Festival). The year of the white metal tiger, by the Chinese calendar, year 4708 brings an urging to be decisive and to take action.

With that in mind, I’m offering a New Year’s Special!

From February 14 till February 28, the last day of the New Year Celebration, I’m offering 2 hours of private, focused 1 on 1 coaching for the price of 1! That’s a savings of $150!

Contact me now to schedule your spot. I only have room for 5 people at this price. This is the time to take that step you said you were going to take January 1. Find your dreams, let’s make them happen together!

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5 Questions To Ask Customers, Partners and Yourself

February 11, 2010 | No comments

Inspired by John Jantsch of Duct Tape Marketing’s post, 5 Questions You Should Ask Every Customer, and a contest post at Tungle, it made me think. I’d really like your comments.

1. What made you decide to start following Living A Created Life?

2. What’s one thing we do better than any other site  out there?

3. What’s one thing we could do to create a better experience for you?

4. Do you refer Created Life Strategies to others? If yes, why?

5. What would you Google to find a site like Created Life Strategies?

Not only are these good to ask your customers, (and I would really love it if you would comment to answer them for me), but these questions are also good to ask of yourself, your friends and your relationships!

1. What made you choose to start a relationship with me?

2. What’s one thing I do better than any other site  out there?

3. What’s one thing I can do to create a better experience for you?

4. Do you positively talk about me to others? If yes, why? What do you say?

5. What things would you do to find someone like me?

I mentioned in my Laws for Success #6, Ask, Ask, Ask that it’s really important to ask questions. How else are you going to know what other people are thinking? I know I’m personally still working on that mindreading thing, but have not perfected it yet, so I always like to ask questions.

Let me know your thoughts about this site, about the people you asked the questions of, or just anything you want to share with us.

Thanks, I really would like your feedback.

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