Living A Created Life Isn’t Easy, Folks

In all honesty, I’ve been dealing with a few things. I’m on the same journey you are – to live a life of my own creation.  In my Joys of Failure workshop, I talk about making setbacks into speedbumps instead of mountains.  To do this takes constant attention to intention.

I consider myself fairly adept at overcoming setbacks, at staying focused and living my created life. I’m here to tell you sometimes it stinks! The upside of living your life you have created is that when things go great, you can take credit, celebrate and know you’re responsible. The downside is that when things go badly, you can take credit, celebrate and know you’re responsible.

Rediscover your rainbow

Rediscover your rainbow

Gone is someone or something else outside yourself to blame for the glitch. You have nothing but yourself there as the responsible party. This can make for a tough day, people. But all is not blackness or hopeless.  Because you created the bump, you control how soon you step over it.

A wise teacher I had back in the 80’s used to say to me:

“When you’re having a bad day, it usually because there’s a lesson there and you haven’t paid attention to something until it slaps you on the side of your head.”

She went on to tell me, and this is the most important part (Thank you, Ruth),

“You can’t go around it, you can’t go over it, sidestep it or ignore it – that just makes it worse.  You need to face it head on, go through it, experiencing all of it, the pain and the gain, until you figure out what you were supposed to learn from it.  Then it will settle down.”

My intention is to create a product (at this point, it’s my Oughta-Pilot(TM) program) that will change the way people live their lives so that they are happy, fulfilled and passionate. I choose to be happy, I choose to be financially stable, I choose passion. This week – not so much. So what’s the process for recovering the glow?

  1. Breathe
  2. Be with whatever is there to experience – whether it’s frustration, sadness, depression or whatever. There is something there for you to “get” and use to shore up the foundation for your power. The more you try to avoid the problem, the more insistent it becomes for you to acknowledge it.
  3. Journal/blog/talk about it to get at the burr that’s the irritation.  You may not be able to identify the issue until you say something to a trusted friend or write it down and there it is. But NO WHINING ALLOWED! Ask for support, get lots of hugs  and finally,
  4. Understand that this is only temporary and that, just like a cold or a virus, it will run its course and then be  over.

So, I will continue to work forward, recoup, regroup and recover very soon.  Once you know the process, it  takes a shorter and shorter time time to do it and the tendrils from the experience lose their hold much faster and just go away.

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  1. John Aberle’s avatar

    DeBorah,

    This is great! In particular, I like your suggesting celebrating the moment no matter what it looks like because you made it. I found in my life that one of the biggest challenges was to accept responsibility for my actions and where I am. I grew up learning to blame others for my shortcomings. I learned though to take credit for the successes. :)

    I just realized it’s like a computer expression: GIGO — garbage in, garbage out. So if we want something other than garbage, we’ve got to be very careful what we program in because it will eventually come out. Unlike a computer display or printout that happens immediately, what we stuff into our consciousness may take a long time to come out, long enough we’ll have forgotten we programmed it.

    John
    John Aberle Consulting
    http://www.helpcustomersbuy.com

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