Ok, so have you ever stood on a threshold to a dark room wondering if you should go in? All it takes is a step forward and a reach around to flick on the light switch and the room is no longer dark and forbidding; it may even be warm and inviting!
So many people are on the threshold
This time in my life is perfect. (No, I’m not being sarcastic, it really is). I have before me an opportunity to revisit all the times I put up and shut up in the past when things weren’t going the way I wanted them to do instead of changing something to add new fuel to the fire.
For some of you this will be old news, but for those new to following me, I suffer from chronic depression. There have been days I cannot even function and there are days that are marvelous. The seesaw of can and can’t is where I have lived for a long time.
I refuse to let it get the better of me and I keep going in spite of it. There are a number of other factors that play in, but this is my most challenging. So when things don’t go smoothly, it’s very easy for me to go to a place where I just want to crawl back into bed and disappear. I did that for 3 years in Walla Walla until I discovered art as a cathartic option for me to “get out of myself” and see a purpose for taking up space on the planet. I did it again when we moved to Salem. Again I found a pathway out.
I still struggle with my Oughta Pilots
I’m struggling daily as I work with my weight this time. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do but my body is being stubborn and not playing the same game. How many times in the past have I faced a place where I was doing what I “ought to” or “should” but life just didn’t want to play in my favor? What an awesome opportunity to take a look and see what I need to change. Notice, I’m not saying what I should change or where I should do something different. The only thing I have control of is my thoughts. I’ve learned this. I teach this. When the depression fogs my thinking to the thickness of a concrete wall I can’t see through, it’s very difficult to hang on that choice to live my purpose. It’s easy when I feel powerless to let someone else drive and that’s been my history my whole life.
I made a choice in 1997 never to give that power up again. But there are days…..
I could tell you to do what makes you happy. What happens when you’re not real sure what that is? How long has it been since you felt “happy”? What does that even mean any more? Do you know? Can you remember? Or are you so caught up in doing what needs to be done that the feeling of “being happy” is one of those things that has disappeared out of your frame of reference? It certainly isn’t a priority right now, is it?
Living a created life is living a life at choice.
Living a created life is living a life at choice. On one level, everything is a choice, even if it makes us feel unhappy. Understanding this allows us to reinvent, refocus and retool (even step back and regroup if we need to). I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. It’s time to take that step into the dark room and feel around on the wall for the light switch.
You and I need to dig deep and remember what that feels like. We need to get back in touch with the child like joy we used to feel just waking up and going outside to see flowers and life happening. When we can recreate that feeling and get back in touch with the simple phenomenon of feeling happy, then we can re-examine our lives and our environment and introduce things that create that feeling again for us on a much more frequent basis.
A challenge for you….
Consequently, I have a challenge for you all. I’m going to make today the first day I find something to make me happy in my travels. What are you going to do? I’d love to have you comment below and tell me and my readers what you found that makes you smile. I even started a Pinterest board for the Happiness Project. If you’d like to contribute to the board, let me know and I’ll add you as a pinner.
See you next time! Let’s all hang in there. And remember, if you want to explore your threshold, we can set up a Personal Discovery Session.